Why I’m opting out of the upcoming Van Halen tour…
I paid about $300 for a single ticket just feet away from the stage at Allstate Arena for the 2008 reunion tour (see photo shot in my pre-iPhone days, which explains the marginal quality). DLR and the band sounded great and played only their classic DLR-era music. Except for having to deal with the douchebag next to me, I had a great time. I suspect the upcoming tour is not going to beat that experience, so why taint that memory with a more recent and potentially inferior one?
About that douchebag…shit like this only happens to me. As I’m making my way to my StubHub-priced seat, the sounds of “WOO-HOO” and “GO CUBBIES” (go Cubbies?) kept getting louder. As I was walking, I kept thinking, “I’m going to be right next to those guys, aren’t I?” I was correct. Long story short, the guy next to me kept elbowing me and encroaching on my space to the point that I was no longer facing the stage but standing at a right angle to it. My guess was that 1) he and his buddy hadn’t attended a concert in a while, 2) he’d been drinking since noon, and 3) he was trying to get a rise and maybe even a fight out of me. I didn’t pay $300 to fight. I knew he was going to flame out soon, so I figured I just needed to ride it out. But he finally pushed me too far and I re-established my position facing the stage via some subtle left-side resistance on my part. Of course he immediately reacted with “What are you doin’? What’s your problem?” I improvised on the spot and responded very calmly and with no trace of sarcasm, “I’m sorry, I was just afraid I was going to spill some of my beer on you.” He had no idea how to respond to that, was dumbstruck for about five minutes, left for the men’s room soon after that and never returned. The flameout, as I’d predicted.
There was room closer to the stage by then, so I made my way up there and enjoyed the rest of the show unencumbered.
I like it when my non-unicorn friends start a-tumblrin’. I’ve known deanwormer here for 30 years.
