Truthful Wednesday

• Whatever. It’s always time for the truth. And I was busy yesterday.
• Your car can indeed go faster than 0.0004 mph over those 1” steel road construction plates, so fucking LET’S GO ALREADY.
• Take care of your gums, or a stern, surly lady will scrape them violently with terrible implements, and then she will give you a bottle of foul mouthwash that ruins the taste of all your food for the next three weeks. And then I think she’ll do it all again.
• I’ve seen 3 concerts in the last month: Bob Mould, Peter Gabriel, and ZZ Top. If you’re looking for lots of awkward, middle-aged white guys, just follow me.
• I loathe working out. Still. Always and forever. It’s the worstest.
• Last night, I walked right past the giant bags of candy corn and did not buy one, and I’ve been thinking about them non-stop ever since.
• I had a dream that I left a bunch of stuff at the office. Hey, good one, subconscious! Be more obvious, maybe.