October 26, 2012
The Bradburys: Packer fanHanson brotherDead Ray BradburyMayhem (not pictured) Tough night for lots of reasons which I’d rather not go into. One thing, though. I am willing to bet that there is not a guitarist on the planet who strikes his gear and gets it off the stage more quickly than me. When I’m done and there is a band after us, I work fast and hard to clear. I have been playing professionally since I was 13 and have played thousands of gigs all across this country and beyond. Getting off the stage quickly is of critical importance at shows like this where there are a lot of bands and tight windows between the sets. It fucks everything up if anyone dawdles. Therefore I hustle and so do all my mates. We get it. SO, NO, DICKSMACK: IT IS NOT OK IF YOU START SETTING UP YOUR PEDALBOARD THAT’S THE SIZE OF A GODDAMNED SURFBOARD WHILE I’M STILL STRIKING. I DON’T CARE HOW FUCKING AWESOME AND IMPORTANT YOU AND YOUR TONE ARE. GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY SO I CAN GET THE FUCK OUT YOURS, YOU INBRED, PUSTULOUS FUCKNOZZLE, AND I AM NOT GONNA BE SORRY WHEN I “ACCIDENTALLY” HIT YOU SQUARE IN YOUR ENORMOUS, BUMPER-LIKE FOREHEAD WITH MY 80-POUND AMPLIFIER.  OK. GOOD TALK.

The Bradburys:

Packer fan
Hanson brother
Dead Ray Bradbury
Mayhem (not pictured)

Tough night for lots of reasons which I’d rather not go into.

One thing, though. I am willing to bet that there is not a guitarist on the planet who strikes his gear and gets it off the stage more quickly than me. When I’m done and there is a band after us, I work fast and hard to clear. I have been playing professionally since I was 13 and have played thousands of gigs all across this country and beyond. Getting off the stage quickly is of critical importance at shows like this where there are a lot of bands and tight windows between the sets. It fucks everything up if anyone dawdles. Therefore I hustle and so do all my mates. We get it.

SO, NO, DICKSMACK: IT IS NOT OK IF YOU START SETTING UP YOUR PEDALBOARD THAT’S THE SIZE OF A GODDAMNED SURFBOARD WHILE I’M STILL STRIKING. I DON’T CARE HOW FUCKING AWESOME AND IMPORTANT YOU AND YOUR TONE ARE. GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY SO I CAN GET THE FUCK OUT YOURS, YOU INBRED, PUSTULOUS FUCKNOZZLE, AND I AM NOT GONNA BE SORRY WHEN I “ACCIDENTALLY” HIT YOU SQUARE IN YOUR ENORMOUS, BUMPER-LIKE FOREHEAD WITH MY 80-POUND AMPLIFIER. 

OK. GOOD TALK.

10:22pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZEG6ZyW1-4jc
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(Notes: 34)
  
Filed under: gig recap great vengeance and furious anger 
  1. do-over said: OMG your rage is just so adorable. ::pinches your cheek::
  2. houseofjules2 said: Sorry to read you’re having a tough night; I hope things get better for you soon. The DICKSMACK rant made me laugh my ass off, so thanks for that.
  3. scholvin posted this
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