(click photo to make it legible)
June 1: 3-2 (L)
June 4: 13-1 (W)
June 8: 11-4 (W)
June 11: 11-8 (W)
June 13: 16-9 (W)
June 14: 18-17 (W)
Danny’s baseball team went 10-2 in the regular season. For the playoffs, the idiots who run this league seeded the teams at random and chose home teams by coin flips. We got a tough first draw, lost the coin flip, and the kids’ bats went cold, which dropped us down into the loser’s bracket in this double elimination tourney.
From there, we’ve gone on a grueling run, eliminating five teams in ten days—three in the last four. Today, as karma dictates, we face our nemesis in the pre-championship* game. That is the team whose head coach called our head coach a liar to his face in front of all the kids over a rules dispute. (Which our coach was right about, BTW.) In all my time with sports, including my asshole years in my 20’s playing men’s league softball, this was the closest I’ve ever seen it get to real violence. I thought our coach, a super nice guy, was going to fucking pound this jerk. That would have been deeply satisfying and richly deserved.
Thankfully, he didn’t, and here we are for the rematch. But the idiots who run this league and the rules of little league baseball conspire to leave us with only one viable pitcher today. Everyone else is “burned” due to the national association’s pitch count limits, etc. After that one kid throws his limit today, we’ll have to pitch kids who never do. Some of them will not find the strike zone at all. The other team, meanwhile, has their entire roster available due to the three-day layoff since their last game. We will almost surely get pounded, and in the process some of our lesser players, 9-year-old boys, will be humiliated in the way that only baseball, the loneliest of team sports, affords.
Did I mention this league is run by idiots?
Anyway. Please send your mojo this way for a massive rainstorm, with lightning if possible, before 11:00 today. Because tomorrow we’d get most of our pitchers back. And failing that, please send mojo for the greatest little league underdog victory of all time.
* since we’re in the loser’s bracket, if we win, we’d have to play them again for all the marbles.