May 16, 2012
Gratuitous Coaching Observations Wednesday:
By age 8, it’s obvious which kids are good at baseball.
You can also tell those who are good at life by the same age.
For a short cut to the previous realization, meet their parents.
The little blonde kid who hasn’t had a hit all year and then finally gets a big one to drive in key runs? It’s not just Bad News Bears, it’s real, and it’s pretty awesome. Go Hank!
I yelled at them hard for the first time today. Have fun, build your self-esteem, all that 21st century bullshit, fine. But if you’re looking down, fooling with the dirt while ostensibly playing shortstop, you could get really badly hurt and you’re going to hear about it from me. Ditto for floor hockey in the dugout.
There’s not a lot to take away from a 23-12 beating. But you will get a snack, at least.
I’m going out drinking with the other dads/coaches soon, and we’re going to set the playoff lineups. Damn right we are PLAYING TO WIN.
My kid’s a decent player, middle of the pack. But no one tries harder or pays more attention or is more polite and, honestly, who could ask for more?
I think this post is only about 100 words short of becoming a pithy, weepy Mitch Albom best-seller.

Gratuitous Coaching Observations Wednesday:

  • By age 8, it’s obvious which kids are good at baseball.
  • You can also tell those who are good at life by the same age.
  • For a short cut to the previous realization, meet their parents.
  • The little blonde kid who hasn’t had a hit all year and then finally gets a big one to drive in key runs? It’s not just Bad News Bears, it’s real, and it’s pretty awesome. Go Hank!
  • I yelled at them hard for the first time today. Have fun, build your self-esteem, all that 21st century bullshit, fine. But if you’re looking down, fooling with the dirt while ostensibly playing shortstop, you could get really badly hurt and you’re going to hear about it from me. Ditto for floor hockey in the dugout.
  • There’s not a lot to take away from a 23-12 beating. But you will get a snack, at least.
  • I’m going out drinking with the other dads/coaches soon, and we’re going to set the playoff lineups. Damn right we are PLAYING TO WIN.
  • My kid’s a decent player, middle of the pack. But no one tries harder or pays more attention or is more polite and, honestly, who could ask for more?
  • I think this post is only about 100 words short of becoming a pithy, weepy Mitch Albom best-seller.

May 2, 2012
GPOYW, c. 1985.
I’d tell the backstory, but I’m sure the one you’d come up with is more interesting.

GPOYW, c. 1985.

I’d tell the backstory, but I’m sure the one you’d come up with is more interesting.

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April 25, 2012
Gratuitous, unbidden, ill-exposed.

Gratuitous, unbidden, ill-exposed.

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February 29, 2012
My little friend here had a pretty tough 24 hours. Any day that includes a new prescription for an EpiPen will be filed under “raging suckfest” 100% of the time.
And the hipster with the new glasses needs a nap, stat.

My little friend here had a pretty tough 24 hours. Any day that includes a new prescription for an EpiPen will be filed under “raging suckfest” 100% of the time.

And the hipster with the new glasses needs a nap, stat.

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February 22, 2012
GPOY-dilated-as-fuck-W
One awesome story about the getaway weekend to Mexico would be how I left my glasses in a disco/tequila bar and didn’t discover it until I was on my way to the airport the next morning and there was no time to go back and get them so I had to go get fitted for new glasses tonight and the drive home was terrifying since there was a pressure differential in my eyes that he needed to dilate me to test which turned out to be nothing and anyway this increased the net cost of my trip by several hundred dollars if you think about it which makes the story not so awesome after all. 

GPOY-dilated-as-fuck-W

One awesome story about the getaway weekend to Mexico would be how I left my glasses in a disco/tequila bar and didn’t discover it until I was on my way to the airport the next morning and there was no time to go back and get them so I had to go get fitted for new glasses tonight and the drive home was terrifying since there was a pressure differential in my eyes that he needed to dilate me to test which turned out to be nothing and anyway this increased the net cost of my trip by several hundred dollars if you think about it which makes the story not so awesome after all. 

February 8, 2012
GPOYW. We had a real photographer, Ray Harris, at our gig last weekend. Click through for the set.
And no, I wasn’t going for a combover here…this was after I was awkwardly tousled by Cliff.

GPOYW. We had a real photographer, Ray Harris, at our gig last weekend. Click through for the set.

And no, I wasn’t going for a combover here…this was after I was awkwardly tousled by Cliff.

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January 11, 2012
GPOYW with many bedtime bonuses:
Possibly tipsy dad
Unquestionably adorbz daughter
OCD-sorted-(mostly)-by-decreasing-size bathroom accoutrement
Super 70’s Sicilian Whorehouse Decor (green marble walls!)
Toilet

GPOYW with many bedtime bonuses:

  • Possibly tipsy dad
  • Unquestionably adorbz daughter
  • OCD-sorted-(mostly)-by-decreasing-size bathroom accoutrement
  • Super 70’s Sicilian Whorehouse Decor (green marble walls!)
  • Toilet

8:18pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZEG6ZyEdvcs-
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December 7, 2011
GPOYW, They Are Delaying All The Flights and a Giant Fucking Ice Storm is Coming edition.

GPOYW, They Are Delaying All The Flights and a Giant Fucking Ice Storm is Coming edition.

November 23, 2011
Fishbone is in the news, tangentially, thanks to The Roots playing “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” when Michele Bachmann appeared on Jimmy Fallon the other night.
So that’s my excuse for this throwback GPOYW from 1987, taken at Northwestern’s Pumpkin Prom. Fishbone was the band. That’s me mocking sorority girls, a decidedly unpopular (and admittedly, incoherent and immature) satirical statement at that time and place. What transformed that costume from merely unpopular to the stuff of legend, though, was when Fishbone was calling for girls to get up on stage and none dared. So, my friends, led by Tim (pictured, cigar), pushed me to the front of the stage. The guys in the band immediately recognized the comedy gold they had on their hands, and they pulled me up on stage where I danced along to a song where I remember the lyrics going something like
You put your left hand on your moundYou put your right hand on the groundAnd shake your ass 
Sadly, no pictures exist for that part, though I imagine they’ll appear if I ever run for office.
Footnote: this picture was taken early in the night when I was making good progress with the Swatch girl next to me. But after the scene on the stage, I never saw her again.

Fishbone is in the news, tangentially, thanks to The Roots playing “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” when Michele Bachmann appeared on Jimmy Fallon the other night.

So that’s my excuse for this throwback GPOYW from 1987, taken at Northwestern’s Pumpkin Prom. Fishbone was the band. That’s me mocking sorority girls, a decidedly unpopular (and admittedly, incoherent and immature) satirical statement at that time and place. What transformed that costume from merely unpopular to the stuff of legend, though, was when Fishbone was calling for girls to get up on stage and none dared. So, my friends, led by Tim (pictured, cigar), pushed me to the front of the stage. The guys in the band immediately recognized the comedy gold they had on their hands, and they pulled me up on stage where I danced along to a song where I remember the lyrics going something like

You put your left hand on your mound
You put your right hand on the ground
And shake your ass 

Sadly, no pictures exist for that part, though I imagine they’ll appear if I ever run for office.

Footnote: this picture was taken early in the night when I was making good progress with the Swatch girl next to me. But after the scene on the stage, I never saw her again.

3:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZEG6ZyCK3RVT
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October 19, 2011
GPOYW
75 minute drive home / feelings in a bottle / absurd Photo Booth flash edition

GPOYW

75 minute drive home / feelings in a bottle / absurd Photo Booth flash edition

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April 20, 2011
GPOYW.
New Office: Challenge Accepted.

GPOYW.

New Office: Challenge Accepted.

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March 23, 2011
GPOYW.

Endured ridiculous stress, rampant stupidity, poisonous salmon for lunch, plus an inch of snow on the way, and why yes these are Transitions® lenses edition.

GPOYW.

Endured ridiculous stress, rampant stupidity, poisonous salmon for lunch, plus an inch of snow on the way, and why yes these are Transitions® lenses edition.

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March 16, 2011
GPOYW: squinty, outdoors, unbecoated.

GPOYW: squinty, outdoors, unbecoated.

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March 2, 2011
GPOYW, too lazy to pull down the fucking blinds.
(edit…coworker cropped)

GPOYW, too lazy to pull down the fucking blinds.

(edit…coworker cropped)

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February 9, 2011
GPOYW. Halloween a couple of years ago.
Nothing like white face makeup to make your teeth look like you personally chewed your way across every tobacco farm in North Carolina.

GPOYW. Halloween a couple of years ago.

Nothing like white face makeup to make your teeth look like you personally chewed your way across every tobacco farm in North Carolina.

12:21pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZEG6Zy2_pZsf
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