A half-stack doesn't fit in the trunk.

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a half-stack doesn't fit in the trunk

Early Five

Already seen:

  1. A big, young deer. Not ten feet from me as I ran past on the sidewalk, he stood unflinching in the parkway, head turned slightly, considering me.
  2. Jupiter. Just left of and below the moon. Over the last few years I’ve started an essay about her (it?) a dozen times but abandoned them all.
  3. The sad girl. I see her when I’m on this train. It’s not bitchy resting face, it’s sad resting face. I hope it’s just that, and that she’s OK.
  4. The genuinely friendly woman at McDonald’s. I get my coffee there mainly because of her.
  5. A guy opening his bar at 6:30am, and a regular who’d been waiting to get in.

  1. You know how the Eskimos have a hundred words for snow? I have just as many for tired.
  2. Some stuff in the back of the closet should just be left there until you sell the house, knock it down, die in it, whatever.
  3. Having a mid-life crisis at 47 implies I will be living to at least 94. Right? So that’s good. Right?
  4. I find I am enjoying running in the complete darkness at 5:00am. Not really the running, or the dark, or the recent cold. That all sucks. The solitude, though, is just about perfect.
  5. I don’t know who Riley is, but I’m willing to join that team without knowing based solely on the other members.

quick 5

  1. #toosoon for jokes about Liberian dumpster diving, or maybe some kale fans are just #toosensitive. Vaya con carne, ex-followers. mwah.
  2. A house full of 10-year-old boys for a sleepover = all the Minecraft. The kind of trash talking they do while playing what amounts to online Lego is profoundly entertaining.
  3. Car shopping is down to the final two candidates. Spreadsheet crafted, features compared, numbers crunched, decision soon. And then I sit back and watch while Sharon negotiates like a Hun.
  4. I might light a fire tonight. Fall escalated quickly.
  5. Mortality is bullshit. There’s too much to do, too many to love.


  1. Please, someone, make my calendars read-only for the next six months to prevent me from scheduling any more things because I clearly don’t know how to stop myself.
  2. The people at ello are all about “WE ARE SO DESIGNERISH” but it’s ugly as fuck, you know? Yuck. I’m @scholvin there if you want to be budz but I don’t reckon to be there a lot.
  3. The blossoming trend of blogging via twitter, and then screencapping those tweets to the tune of perhaps ten thousand vertical pixels, and then tumblring the resulting image sets my nerd teeth on edge. It’s like using the back tines of a claw hammer to turn a screw. Feasible does not imply optimal.
  4. I’m far more interested in the Ryder Cup (even without Tiger) than I am in Bears/Packers this weekend. Keep up the good work, NFL.
  5. Seems like our school district does a good job with normal kids, or kids with serious challenges. Kids with small- to medium-sized challenges? Not so much.

Gotta get down on Friday

  1. I’m a big, big fan of Apple products, but I’ll be skipping the watch. In fact, I’d been thinking about treating myself to a new analog watch this fall/winter (hi, Robin) and seeing the Apple watch makes me want a real one even more for some reason.
  2. The next week is impossibly overscheduled, even by my ludicrous standards. Some good (recording studio!), some less so (the Jerz). The main bummer is that I won’t be around for the kids’ bedtimes 6 of the next 8 nights. This sucks for everyone involved.
  3. I’m running in my first-ever organized 5K next Sunday. See previous point re: the state of my training. Ruh-roh, Raggy.
  4. When I see that Tumblr Savior has blocked a recommended post and it’s also by a user I’ve likewise blocked, I stand right up and high-five myself. (If you are reading this, you are not blocked.) ((You guys would probably be pretty surprised by who is.)) (((Nope, never gonna tell.)))
  5. Will one of you please drive me home? I’d prefer to have a big glass of bourbon and maybe a nap in the back seat. Msg me for deets. Thx.

printf(“%c\n”, 53);

  1. Belly fat, pattern baldness, lumbar discs, overactive maxillofacial nerves, early knee and shoulder obsolescence due to design flaws, tissue that inflames for no apparent reason. Engineering failures across the board. If I’d bought this contraption, I’d want a refund.
  2. On that same thread: as has happened so many times before, just as I was making serious momentum on a fitness regimen, this wretched body decided to repay me with a massive bronchial infection that leaves me winded going up the stairs. After this likely 2-week+ setback I’ll get to start all over again. If I choose to bother.
  3. I have listened to that a cappella thing I reblogged this morning a dozen times. It’s silly, maybe, but that kind of human achievement (the writing, the arrangement, the performances!) gets very close to what I consider spiritual. “Why we’re here”-level stuff. What we can do when all the lower tiers of the Maslow are fulfilled. And that leads to thoughts on why it’s so fucking important that everyone’s basic needs are taken care of. (Longer post on that, someday.)
  4. I have overscheduled my September. Bad choice. As if it wasn’t bad enough that we are losing like 40 minutes of light every day, I went and did this to myself. Not helping.
  5. Parenting. LOL.


  1. Two friends—one dear, the other more of a FOAF—who I used to think were sensitive and intelligent have lived in close company with small-minded idiots for too long, and the effects are heartbreaking to see. Choose your companions wisely.
  2. The backlash against the date-rape-drug-detecting nail polish baffles me. OF COURSE the priority is educating men and raising boys to end rape culture. Obviously. In this house we are working hard to raise our son exactly that way. HOWEVER, until the rest of the world catches up, and that may take a while, I want my daughter to have every possible tool at her disposal to protect herself. If this sort of thing saves even one woman, how is it bad? We can play offense and defense at the same time, and we should.
  3. One Direction is pläying at Soldier Field tonight and there is a 60% chance of thunderstorms. Team Cloud!
  4. I heard that the dev team at my previous employer was instructed six weeks ago to stop writing software. Due to the company being sold, TPTB didn’t want to risk any release-related production outages. So those engineers have been working short hours, surfing the web, looking for new jobs, etc. Fuck yeah, capital markets!
  5. Bad At Marketing, Part CLXXVI: I’ll be playing with The Recliners again at Poopy’s in Savanna, IL this Sunday from 1-5. It’s the last big outdoor show of the season….come on out, maybe see one of your favorite farmers from northwest Illinois.

ace, albatross, eagle, birdie, par

  1. Hey locals, I did a completely shitty job marketing this, but my band The Recliners is playing tomorrow from 3:00-5:00pm at Durty Nellie’s in Palatine. It’s an all-ages show, and proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. Special bonus: we are shooting a video. Yes, you will probably see clips of it here, eventually, but wouldn’t you rather be able to say you were there?
  2. I golfed today. Quite well, actually. But I won’t talk about it at all because I know the only thing people care less about than your dreams is your golf game.
  3. You may be aware that I think a lot. (Way too much, really.) I’ve realized that when I’m thinking while driving alone, and a thought enters my head that is especially negative, I reflexively change the radio station, even if a song I like is playing. It’s like some part my brain is crying out to change the path the other part is on.
  4. I stopped by Mom and Dad’s house on the way home from the golf course to “fix” their TV. I changed the input from “HDMI 2” to “CABLE.” Move it on over, Dumbledore: I am the baddest wizard of all time.
  5. We’ve had a fairly relaxed, stress-free few weeks around here. It’s been nice. But that’s ending; the kids go back to school Monday, including Danny starting at middle school, which is utterly, preposterously too soon for any 10-year-old, never mind those with anxiety issues. Please keep a good thought, if you would.

  1. The Ferguson thing—which is ongoing, by the way, as we now fully enter the victim-blaming phase—is among the most depressing things I can ever recall happening in this country. The worst part is that I expect this is the New Normal. 
  2. It did have the effect of reminding me that all my problems are relatively stupid. There is no chance whatsoever that a bunch of microdicked cops in tactical gear and tanks (tanks!) are going to treat me like an enemy combatant, or my neighborhood like Hamburger Hill.
  3. Normally, we go to the other side of the lake for a week around this time every summer. It’s a good thing we didn’t this year—the lake is at near-record low temperatures. Not a lot to do there if the beach is unusable. If this weather pattern is another New Normal, I may have to accelerate my plan to get southwest. (Please don’t take this opportunity to tell me how much I suck for liking hot weather.)
  4. If every conversation you have is an argument, consider that the problem might not be that literally everyone else in the world is an asshole.
  5. My body’s bizarre response to exercise continues apace. By induction, the end result of this will be a perfectly spherical torso of 100% fat, four limbs the diameter of matchsticks, and the same big, thick head on top. Great look. I’ll post a whole set of #SST pics.

Blind Faith - Presence Of The Lord
(79 plays)

Presence Of The Lord // Blind Faith

Friday Five:

  1. Never forget: before he got soggy in the mid-70s, Eric Patrick Clapton was a force to be reckoned with. Taut and purposeful. 
  2. Cary’s question about my musical influences the other night—surely unintentionally—triggered a long string of thought about nothing less than my own mortality and what I intend to do with my remaining time, creatively speaking. Could be an hour or could be 50 years. But statistically I’m somewhere on the back nine heading toward the clubhouse, and it feels like it’s time to make something of my own. THANKS, CARY.
  3. To follow up on that post: if I were enough of a singer to claim influences, I’d want to sing like Steve Winwood or Neil Finn. Absolutely effortless, with the sense that they could sing as magically as they do for days on end. Timeless, too. Voices like that don’t get old and burn out. And, you know, gaining about an octave above my own pathetic range would be good, as long as we’re dreaming.
  4. Since coming back from my little tumblr break I’m losing followers faster than I am my own hair. I don’t give two shits about it, but I do wonder what it was they thought they were coming for that they didn’t actually get.
  5. A horrific thing happened this week that impacted my extended family deeply. I don’t mean to vagueblog, but it’s not really my story to tell. Everyone here is fine, as are my immediate relatives, but I have cousins who are suffering the most excruciating pain imaginable right now. If you have good juju to spare, they could use it.

five little snacks

Remember racist Greg? The guy from the other company I hear bloviating all day over my cube wall? This morning, he’s talking politics—domestic and middle eastern—just as eloquently and deeply informed as you’d expect. Get here, new office. Guys like me do poorly in jail.

We had to do a near literal 180° on our vacation plan. Well, probably closer to 135°, from Oklahoma towards Florida. And we had to do it with only 10 days to departure. But it was deftly executed and we’re all looking forward to a week in a place where they still have summers.

I’m getting more into the World Cup as it goes along. I could even see myself becoming a casual soccer fan over time. But one thing I will never, ever do is refer to teams with plural verbs. Germany is, Belgium has, Uruguay was. Not are/have/were. Never ever, nfw. This is America, goddammit. Speak American.

Related: I really want one of those “Through The Perilous Fight” scarves. No idea what I’d do with it. Just want.

Secret seemed like such a cool concept, but in practice it looks like another version of grindr. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, etc. Maybe if more of my friends were actually there and sharing secrets, I’d see those instead of what it thinks is “interesting” locally.

  1. Against all my better judgement, we’re giving Dad an iPad so he can participate in the internets. If he turns out to be a great follow, I’ll let you know.
  2. One month in, the new job is great. A minor hitch: we are in temporary, shared office space, and there is a guy from some other company on the other side of my cube wall who needs to be hit in the face with a brick. He’s a racist, bullying blowhole, on the phone all day, and sounds like the less funny Jerky Boy. I can’t wait to get away.
  3. Last night we went to an art show; tonight, a play. Look at all the culture and shit up in this piece.
  4. Inspired by Abby, I’m going to try changing my workout regimen to the Stronglifts 5x5. Unlike her, though, I won’t blog about how I’m doing since that triggers the same feelings that working out in public does, strong feelings of Nope.
  5. I’m enjoying watching the World Cup. I don’t know if I’m ready to say I’m a soccer fan, and I doubt I’ll watch much after the tournament ends, but this right here is top flight sportsball drama.

quick five

  1. The bad guys lost by 2. Not quite 1000, but I’ll take it. Karma. And pitching depth. Suck on that, alpha jerk.
  2. Remember when Yahoo! [sic] bought Tumblr [sic] and was going to improve the ability to search our blogs? Yeah. That was awesome.
  3. For the first time in five years, I’m wearing shorts to work.
  4. For the first time in five years, I’m writing code that will be in production. (See prev.) Feels good, man.
  5. I have a relatively unscheduled weekend before me and I don’t know how to process it. I feel like Red arriving at the halfway house after leaving Shawshank.

a handful

  1. I’m working from home today. I would be judged brutally on my musical choices right now. It’s a sunny day and I want sunny girlpop. Taylor and Kelly and Katy. Don’t care.
  2. That I even can work from home with this job feels like such a major departure from my previous. This is 2014 and working from home isn’t A Thing for technologists, or shouldn’t be. Look, if your company is so insecure that you don’t trust your own employees not to “steal” your IP from home, or that they might not be working as hard as you like when they’re not under your watchful gaze, your company has giant, probably insurmountable problems. Really glad that’s behind me.
  3. One other thing on that front. The kind of tired you get after a long day of solving hard technical problems is WAY DIFFERENT than the kind of tired you get after a long day of meetings, politics, and pulling knives out of your back. It’s the kind of tired that helps you sleep, as opposed to preventing it. Feels good, man.
  4. This afternoon begins the most overscheduled 36-hour period of the year to date. Gig in Savanna tonight; tomorrow, kid 1 baseball, kid 2 dance recital, entertaining people here, then out for bar night with the cool 4th grade parents. Sunday’s busy, too. Not complaining, but a nap along the way would be good, and preferably not while I’m driving.
  5. Holy crap, my TODO lists are as long as I can ever remember. But I’m energized and feeling good about attacking them. Amazing what a few weeks of consistent sunshine and warm air can do for me. I want to feel like this all the time. Love you, Chicago, but our time together is ticking toward its inevitable end.

quick fiver

  1. First real task at new job: merging a 3-year-old dev branch back into the trunk. Both lines were actively developed and have diverged widely. You feel me, nerds?
  2. I have a gig in freaking Maquoketa, IA tomorrow. For that, I’m missing Danny’s playoff game and I’m literally sick over it.
  3. Prediction: the team that scores first in tonight’s Kings/Hawks game will go on to win the game, the series, and then the Cup. 
  4. When I’m on an el/subway platform, I move closer to the middle, away from the tracks, just before the train pulls in to make it harder on anyone who might be planning to push me down in front of the train.
  5. How do people install that really hardcore, badass razor wire without fucking themselves up? And then couldn’t bad guys just duplicate that technique to defeat it?